


Marta's Meta

by Marta



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, Gen, Meta, Nonfiction, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:24:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1510340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta/pseuds/Marta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various meta, speculation, and argumentative essays about the BBC Sherlock series and the Doyle canon. Summaries of individual pieces are included as notes at the beginning of each chapter. Please note that these discussions may include spoilers through the end of series three.</p><p>Most recent addition: "On Sherlock's Virginity," on different approaches to Sherlock's sexual history before he met John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sherlock and the Seven-Percent Solution

**Author's Note:**

> "His Last Vow" opens with Sherlock using recreational drugs again. Was this a relapse, or was he legitimately using the drugs as part of the Magnussen case? I argue for a third option.

At the beginning of _His Last Vow_ , John finds Sherlock strung out on drugs. Just what is going on in this first scene? Fans discussing the show seem divided between two common theories, some arguing his drug use is a relapse brought on by desperation or loneliness or rejection by John at the end of _The Sign of Three_ , while others view it as part of his strategy for the Magnussen case. I’d like to propose a third option. It’s not a relapse in my opinion; the behavior pattern throughout the episode doesn’t seem to match someone dealing with addiction. But it’s also not the kind of trick a mentally healthy Sherlock would pull. Rather, it’s a symptom of the rather bad case of combat stress Sherlock picked up rooting out Team Moriarty after _The Reichenbach Fall_.  
  
Let’s start with **_Theory A_** , the idea that this really is a relapse. I’ve seen this a lot in fanfic and it definitely makes for good drama. Sherlock’s pretty well-established as a drug addict but one in recovery, and John is equally well-established as the person who “keeps him right” in that regard. John’s the one that cancels his date when Irene seemingly dies, after all, who searches his flat and even hounds him about giving up cigarettes. The end of _The Sign of Three_ is as big a danger night as we’ve ever seen, and by its very nature its one John can’t help him through.  
  
There’s also a kind of canonical precedent in the Doyle stories. Take this bit from the tail end of _The Sign of the Four_ (so minor spoilers for that book):  
  


> "By the way, apropos of this Norwood business, you see that they had, as I surmised, a confederate in the house, who could be none other than Lal Rao, the butler: so Jones actually has the undivided honour of having caught one fish in his great haul."
> 
> “The division seems rather unfair,” I remarked. “You have done all the work in this business. I get a wife out of it, Jones gets the credit, pray what remains for you?”
> 
> “For me,” said Sherlock Holmes, “there still remains the cocaine-bottle.” And he stretched his long white hand up for it.

  
  
Watson and Holmes face a fork in the road here, a dividing point in their lives. Watson gets the wife and the family, and Holmes gets the Work. More specifically, he gets the distraction or, if we’re being charitable, something to engage his brain and give him a sense of peace – and, in the absence of suitable work, Holmes is driven to its chemical equivalent. (He says as much at the very beginning of _The Sign of the Four_ : “Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram, or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants.”) So I think fanfic writers who choose to see this as the moment where John gets the healthy family life (or shoots for it, at least) and Sherlock chooses a more self-focused mental stimulation by whatever means necessary aren’t going too far out on a limb. I’ve certainly enjoyed stories that made a convincing case of this.  
  
The problem is, this approach makes too tidy a picture of things. If Sherlock was using cocaine as a (bad!) coping mechanism for being abandoned by John, that’s one thing. But Sherlock’s an addict. He seems to know he’s an addict – if there’s any question of self-denial, I suspect his conversation with the cabbie in _A Study in Pink_ proved that for him – and he’s smart enough to know this is a disastrously self-destructive way of coping for someone with an addictive past. What’s more, his behavior pattern, the way he bounces right back once the drugs clear his system, even turning down the morphine at the hospital so he can think clearly – these aren’t the actions of someone relapsing into addictive behaviors. You don’t even get the physical effects of withdrawal. And while I could buy the show not really wanting to sink the whole episode dealing with this issue in great depth, even with that stuff happening offscreen, we’re just not given any indication Sherlock was dealing with this kind of thing. He’s not painted like an addict.  
  
Which leads to **_Theory B_** : Sherlock took drugs for the case. Again, there are scenes in the Doyle canon that point to this. [gloriascott93](http://tmblr.co/mDe3dhs-sI_GGnWP_ZJ0VoQ) and probably a few other people (I really struggle to work out just who says what in these posts – sorry) discussed [a rather interesting scene from “The Man with the Twisted Lip,”](http://gloriascott93.tumblr.com/post/83496000481/in-a-very-short-time-a-decrepit-figure-had-emerged) where Holmes impersonates a drug user for a case. The beginning of that scene (read the whole exchange at the link):  
  


> In a very short time a decrepit figure had emerged from the opium den, and I was walking down the street with Sherlock Holmes. For two streets he shuffled along with a bent back and an uncertain foot. Then, glancing quickly round, he straightened himself out and burst into a hearty fit of laughter.
> 
> "I suppose, Watson," said he, "that you imagine that I have added opium-smoking to cocaine injections, and all the other little weaknesses on which you have favoured me with your medical views. […] I am in the midst of a very remarkable inquiry, and I have hoped to find a clue in the incoherent ramblings of these sots, as I have done before now."

  
  
Shades of Sherlock’s protestations in _His Last Vow_ that he’s undercover, that. And a lot of people read Sherlock’s actions here along those lines. This is his usual throwing caution to the wind in pursuit of a case, perhaps driven to a new extreme because John’s not there to moderate him anymore but still, his actions in HLV are a detective without restraint trying to solve a case rather than an addict looking for an excuse to justify his next fix.  
  
I have a certain sympathy for this view, though again I’m not 100% convinced by it. I think Mycroft, John, even Anderson behaved in a pretty rotten way to Sherlock when they didn’t even listen to his reasons for why he’d used the drugs. He _did_ have a reason, even if it was a pretty bad one; not even trusting him enough to ask what was going on, after all he’d been through, is pretty insulting. An army doctor who would be familiar with substance abuse and the brother of a recovering addict should be able to see the difference between a temporary high and a relapse. Molly’s in a bit of a different category, I think; her reaction seems to be that even if his reason was good it was still an unjustifiably big risk to take, and she’s right. But I wouldn’t put it past Sherlock Holmes to put himself in at least moderate danger if he thinks it would serve a case.  
  
Here’s the thing, though. As I said, Molly’s right: it’s _ridiculously_ destructive behavior, and if Sherlock is at all smart about his addiction, he’d know this is what it means to be an addict. An alcoholic can’t just have a glass of champagne at his daughter’s wedding because the normal thought process that moderates alcohol use for most people simply doesn’t work in his case. Ditto for drug addictions. If Sherlock’s truly an addict, he knows he can’t take the occasional hit of heroin because his motives are pure, even if someone else could. If Sherlock wanted to make Magnussen under-rate him, he has to find another way, and I think a psychologically health Sherlock _knows_ he has to find another way. He gets himself arrested for some minor, embarrassing crimes. He leaks a falsified suicide attempt. Heck, he gets drug use in the papers without actually doing drugs. (Hanging out in drug dens and acting high, perhaps, without actually doing the drugs?) Something like that.  
  
So I’ll give Sherlock the benefit of the doubt and agree that at some level he probably thinks this was all about Magnussen. There may have been a part of him that longed for the oblivion the drug gave him, but I think for him that was an added benefit, not the main cause. At least on a conscious level. The thing is, I honestly don’t think this is the kind risk Sherlock would have taken before _Reichenbach_. Because, let’s admit it, Sherlock’s a first-class wreck. He’s withdrawing from the things that give him pleasure (casework, obviously, and even experiments seem infused with a sense of ennui in _The Sign of Three_ ). His two closest friendships, with John and Molly, are both being radically altered as they move toward marriage and Sherlock is in screaming denial about this reality until he deduces the baby. He’s been on a two-year-long solo undercover mission _killing people_ and rather than debriefing him and sending him to a shrink, his confidante and brother calls it a holiday, belittles Sherlock as the stupid one, and generally doesn’t consider what he’s been through.  
  
And, you know, there’s a reason that twenty-odd American veterans commit suicide every day. Vets face a well-defined cluster of psychological symptoms, and Sherlock seems to be affected by that same cluster of problems.  
  
Which leads me to _**Theory C**_ : Sherlock’s in an emotional and psychological tail spin after his return, and he simply doesn’t see returning to his old life as a realistic option. He’s trying to return but failing at it, and probably dealing with more than a touch of depression or PTSD or both. And because of this he’s in more or less the same mental state as John was at the beginning of _A Study in Pink_ , where that apple would sit on the desk all but taunting him and John couldn’t be bothered to eat it. It’s not that he’s suicidal, but he doesn’t have the energy or hope or whatever else it might be to actually cling to life.  
  
So he overinvests himself in John’s wedding to have something to do, and to show he’s still capable of being a useful, good friend. He takes the Magnussen case and actually revives a little; he’s functional with Janine and downright excited describing it to John. But I think at some level he’s trying to pull a crash-landing out of a tail-spin. I think at the beginning of _His Last Vow_ Sherlock’s beginning to realize just how irreparable his life is. Going back to the life he dreamed of when he was in Eastern Europe hunting Moriarty’s network seems increasingly impossible. And it’s not that Sherlock’s suicidal in the proper sense, but he simply doesn’t have the will to do what it takes to make himself safe.  
  
All of which makes me think, getting back to the drugs that this isn’t about coping or addiction half as much as it’s about the fall-out from a very stressful, unacknowledged case of combat stress. Sherlock takes drugs not because he’s addicted but because he just can’t be bothered to do what he knows is good for him long-term, much as he can’t be bothered to solve cases in _The Sign of Three_ or even really be Sherlock Holmes with the media in _The Empty Hearse_. John says at the tail end of TEH that he loves being Sherlock Holmes, but look at his face. He doesn’t seem to.

For my money, Sherlock Holmes isn’t falling back into drug use or even addiction because John Watson abandoned him. I think on a conscious level he’s telling the truth: this drug use _is_ for a case. But it’s a damned short-sighted approach to take, and it really only makes sense because he doesn’t have the discipline he needs to stay sober, he just doesn’t _care_ anymore – because I’m not sure he thinks it matters. Taking the Magnussen case is in some ways an act of hope on his part that he could return to the kind of casework that really matters and maybe even get John back by his side. But using the drugs is a mark of a man driven so far beyond endurance. He’s more than a bit frayed around the edges. Splintered, even. While he knows the drugs are a major risk, I’m not entirely sure he’s capable of caring at that point.


	2. On Sherlock's Virginity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What might Sherlock's sexual history have been like before he met John in that lab at St. Bart's? I discuss various fan-theories I've come across, and why --and when-- I find them interesting or offputting.
> 
> (Note, this is less an argument for a certain position and more an analysis of what I find interesting/troubling about each of these approaches. I'm posting it here because I think people interested in my meta may find it worth consideration.)

In the Johnlock parts of the  _Sherlock_  fandom, at least the corners of it I've seen, there seems to be three main theories about Sherlock's virginity. Specifically:

  1. He either had past romantic relationship(s) that didn't work out well, [Victor Trevor](http://sherlockian.info/page1/files/27320f3f2bafcaf45c99a7a4c22aaa1b-13.php) being the most common example,
  2. Or he had romanceless sex as an experiment to see what all the fuss was about but didn't really do romance until John came along,
  3. Or he was completely a virgin and his and John's first time was his first time, full-stop.



Of these, my personal headcanon is (2). Quite a lot of crimes are connected to sex, even the ones that aren't really sex crimes in the literal sense, like spousal abuse or murder out of jealousy. Plus it's such a huge part of the human experience, so I have a hard time imagining Sherlock just not having any interest in exploring this part of human nature, even if he wasn't sexually driven for the usual reasons. It's not that I have any problem with someone rounding thirty and still being a virgin; it's that  _this particular_  person, with his intense curiosity and drive to understand and without any obvious moral objection, I struggle to see him choosing to abstain.

I'm also, I have to admit, a little put off by the idea that virgin!Sherlock has been "saving himself" for John, or that his virginity is something special he can "offer" John. This is a bit odd in a way, because I'm a Christian and I still accept the sexual morality I was raised with. That doesn't mean "gay sex is bad" for me these days, but it does mean at some level the ideal is sex within lifelong monogamous relationships if not institutionalized (or sacramental) marriage. I recognize it's a little odd that my ethical beliefs don't really match up with my intuitive headcanons and expectations for this character here. 

It also should be said: there are some fan authors who have done wonderful things with this trope and who _have_ convinced me that it's a good start to the relationship, at least within the confines of that story. Usually when it works with me, it gets turned into a tool for showing that for Sherlock, sex and particularly orgasm has meant the loss of control and the giving into sentiment - and that with John he can let go of that inhibition a bit. There's quite a bit of Doyle canon to back this reading up, e.g.Sherlock's reaction to Watson's falling for Mary Morstan in _The Sign of the Four,_ in particular his comments about love meaning the abandonment of reason. I think what bothers me with this approach is the assumption that virginity is somehow a thing that must be be preserved, that cannot be recaptured, and that Sherlock in particular should have in his possession. John is the man who's allowed to leave a trail of women across three continents, we're allowed evidence of his (pre-wedlock, even) sex with Mary through the pregnancy - and yet Sherlock must be a virgin or he no longer has something important to offer to John. The idea plays into purity culture ideas in a way I am not  _at all_  on board with, and while certain authors can certainly overcome that _prima facie_ discomfort, it's something that must be addressed in specific fics. Out of fairness, many do. It's just that when this happens, it corrects the problem for a certain fic, not for the category as a whole.

(Also out of fairness, I have no problem with the idea that Sherlock was functionally asexual or demisexual until he met John and it was the first time he fell in love and so the first time he wanted to have sex. The problem is I'm yet to read fics that do a good job explaining what about John (or Sherlock's life generally) that flipped that particular switch, so those stories haven't felt authentic or convincing to me in the past.)

There is one option people seem to overlook quite a bit when they're doing this kind of issue, which I find both troubling and fascinating, all at the same kind. At least in Doyle canon, Sherlock doesn't seem to have finished university. He also has a drug habit, in the BBC verse enough of one that he's resistant to sedation and that the police seem to assume he'll just have drugs around his flat. While in some ways he's not hurting for money, he doesn't seem to have what you'd call a steady career. No real nest egg, and even if he had one a serious drug habit can blow through a savings account quite easily I've always suspected his lifestyle was supported by a combination of Mycroft supporting him and/or family inheritance, combined with fees from private clients. If either one of those sources dried up (which an even-slightly-out-of-control drug habit could easily do) he might find himself hurting for money. Very, very quickly.

I've seen enough police procedurals to know (at least in that fictional world) a lot of people get into crime and particularly prostitution because they need drug money. Sherlock being Sherlock, I don't doubt he could go into robbery and even half-high get away with it; but I also think that might seem like a bridge too far for him. I can see Sherlock not wanting to risk an actual police file, and not wanting to connect the "bit of burglary" he would have to do for his investigations with  _actual_  burglary he committed himself. Plus, I can see it actually flattering his ego. People are so stupid, they're so hormone-addled and he's so gorgeous they'll pay him to use his body and it wouldn't necessarily mean anything to him. Except it would, in time; or perhaps it really wouldn't. What would Sherlock think of that period in retrospect? How would it shape his view of sexuality, if his first real initiation into it was in the context of using and being used so he could get what he wanted, drug-wise? What would John think of it all?

It's not exactly a pleasant possibility to think of and I can see why people wanting to write fluffy Johnlock might prefer not to go there, but I think it is a fascinating one, and one more or less free of those gender norms and purity culture hangovers that bother me with the whole Sherlock-is-a-virgin-before-John idea. It could give you a Sherlock who's sexually experienced at a technical level but still rather emotionally virginal while scarred at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Originally posted at <http://marta-sherlock.tumblr.com/post/84376054353/on-sherlock-and-virginity>.)

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally published at <http://marta-sherlock.tumblr.com/post/83535519603/sherlock-and-the-seven-percent-solution>.)


End file.
